Summer Diary Blog Entry #4

"It always seems impossible until it's done." -Nelson Mandela

I’ve grown into a bad habit of doubting myself when it comes to trying new things. I have often questioned my abilities and robbed myself of some really great learning experiences because I was too busy worrying about not being good enough. My biggest fear when starting this internship was not having what it takes to be successful. I wanted so badly to make my supervisors proud and to prove to them that they made the right choice in hiring me. At the beginning of the summer, I looked at the three months ahead of me and felt a deep pit in my stomach.  

“What if I don’t have the kind of talent they’re looking for?”

“What if I’m not creative enough?”

“What if I can’t handle the kind of things they throw at me?”

The “what if’s” were neverending, and they still ring in my ears when I’m feeling unsure of myself. But if there’s one thing I learned from my experience at Kankakee Valley REMC this summer, it’s to never doubt myself.  

I learned very quickly that the best way to get over your fears is to face them head-on. I dove into every day at KV REMC with the idea that I would take everything one step at a time. Sometimes I let my anxiety get the best of me and I worry about things that haven’t and might not even happen. I refused to let that happen with this job. I went in with a positive attitude and the intention of contributing to something greater than myself. I never allowed my fears to be bigger than my will to try and learn. 

In retrospect, I can see now that I’ve always had what it takes to be successful in this job. The only thing I lacked was the confidence to get started. Little did I know that confidence is something that comes with experience and practice. Over the summer, I built confidence in myself not only on a professional level but on a personal one, too. After my experience at Kankakee Valley REMC, I feel more prepared and excited than ever to pursue my professional path, wherever it may take me.  

As a journalism student, it’s not very often that I’m at a loss for words, but I just can’t seem to find the words to express how grateful I am to have had this position over the summer. I feel stronger, smarter, and more prepared than ever before, and it’s all thanks to my family at KV REMC.